opinion

Diddy just gave us a masterclass in what not to say in an apology video.

Content warning: This story involves domestic violence.

Sean "Diddy" Combs is sorry.

He's sorry for his "behaviour".

He's sorry for what he did when he hit "rock bottom".

"I make no excuses, my behaviour on that video is inexcusable. I take full responsibility for my actions in that video. Disgusted... I was disgusted then when I did it, I am disgusted now," the rapper told his Instagram followers in a video posted overnight.

He's talking about hotel surveillance footage from 2016 that shows him violently assaulting his then girlfriend Casandra "Cassie" Ventura. The CNN exclusive shows Diddy shoving the R&B singer to the floor by her neck, stomping on her twice as she lies still on the ground, dragging her across the floor and throwing something from a table in her direction. You can view the video here.

But watching Diddy's 'heartfelt' apology video, there's no mention of Cassie. No mention of her pain and suffering. No mention or even acknowledgement that he lied, publicly, about ever hurting her.

Watch: A snippet of Diddy's apology.


Video via Instagram

In November 2023, Cassie filed a federal lawsuit accusing the rapper of physical assault and rape, claiming she was stuck in a decade-long "cycle of abuse, violence and sex trafficking".

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With the expiration of New York’s Adult Survivors Act fast approaching she realised this perhaps was her last opportunity to speak up.

"After years in silence and darkness, I am finally ready to tell my story, and to speak up on behalf of myself and for the benefit of other women who face violence and abuse in their relationships," she said.

In her lawsuit she referenced the incident captured in the CCTV video in March 2016. She also referenced many others in which she says she dealt with "uncontrollable rage" and frequent, "savage" beatings. She also detailed instances where Diddy allegedly forced her to perform sexual acts with sex workers while he watched.

In 2018, Cassie said that she tried to leave Diddy for the last time, but after she broke up with him at dinner, he allegedly forced his way into her home and raped her.

In the years since, "she has required intensive medical and psychological care to recover from the trauma she lived through," her lawsuit said.

Diddy's lawyer responded by telling PEOPLE her claims were "offensive and outrageous".

He painted Cassie as someone seeking to "tarnish Mr Combs' reputation" and "a pay day".

A day after the complaint was filed, the singers settled.

"I have decided to resolve this matter amicably on terms that I have some level of control," Cassie said in a statement. "I want to thank my family, fans and lawyers for their unwavering support."

Diddy's lawyer was insistent that the settlement was "in no way an admission of wrongdoing".

In the months since, a number of other women have come forward with similar claims of alleged misconduct by the rapper. In March, 2024, several of Diddy's homes were raided by Homeland Security in connection to a sex trafficking investigation.

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Up until now, it's been his word against theirs. Up until now, he has denied any wrongdoing whatsoever.

Diddy and Cassie dated for a decade until 2018. Image: Getty.

In December he claimed that he had "sat silently and watched people try to assassinate my character, destroy my reputation and my legacy."

But now he's changed his tune, because there's no faking that footage. There's no getting around the blatant act of violent, shocking aggression captured on that hotel CCTV camera.

And so now, Diddy is sorry. He was "f**ked up" and he "is committed to being a better man every day."

Apologising to the camera it's clear he doesn't mean Cassie. He means his fans.

The entire one minute 12 second video is an apology to them, not her. He's sorry he was caught, not that he offended. The language he uses proves that fact.

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What that hotel CCTV video has given us, is a gift. Persecuting domestic violence cases is notoriously difficult as it's often just an accusers' word against their abuser. Time and time again we see men painted as 'the good guy.' An upstanding citizen whose life and livelihood is being attacked by a 'crazy ex girlfriend' or some other hurtful slur.

But now we've seen it in action — the lying. We've seen how convincingly a tale of misfortune is woven.

We don't have videos of all the things Diddy allegedly did to Cassie during their decade-long relationship. But we have one video, and that's all we need.

We know he at least one time, violently attacked his ex-girlfriend, and then lied to our faces about it.

But don't worry, he's sorry. He's sorry that video made him look bad.

Read more: You'll want to look away from this video. But we can't look away from the truth.

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.

Mamamia is a charity partner of RizeUp Australia, a national organisation that helps women, children and families move on after the devastation of domestic and family violence. Their mission is to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most. If you would like to support their mission you can donate here. 

Feature image: @diddy.

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