"I didn't know you could put rose gold in a wall." A recap of Zoë Foster Blake's house tour.

Not enough cactus, tbh. Image: Vogue Living Australia. 

The walls are painted terracotta and there are approximately five thousand cacti basking away in the courtyard. 

Zoë explains that she wanted it to feel like you're on holiday when you visit her house... and for that I ask, 'will you be taking AirBnb bookings in the near future?'

Moving on indoors, and the pink is going nowhere fast.

There's a blush staircase, a rosé toned carpet bleeding out into the hallway and a pot of pink plants just to hammer the theme home. 

Umm, I think you spilt your carpet. Image: Vogue Living Australia.

Oh, and if you're wondering what those little blobby things are at the top of the stairs, that's a family portrait done in pink clay. 

But enough about the art... because it's time to look at the kitchen which will be a dramatic change of tone, right?

Umm. Well. No. 

Because it's pink. Obviously.

Permission to cook pink foods and pink foods only here pls. Image: Vogue Living Australia.

Everything is rounded, curvy and in blush tones and makes me think that the Blake family exclusively eat pink foods.

It's strawberry ice cream, watermelon and marshmallows for dinner, every damn night. 

But shush please because we're going upstairs and I need to see if this colour palette takes a dramatic turn. 

Image: Vogue Living Australia.

Turns out, this entire house is pink. 

In the master suite, Zoë says that they ripped out the old walk-in wardrobes and put these peachy wardrobes in instead, as well as cladding the entire wall behind their bed in cork. 

But, just as you think that means they're going for cool, low-cost, walls, think again. 

Because these cork walls are laced with LITERAL ROSE GOLD. 

Yep, those flecks of shimmer you see there aren't just ring lights reflected back, they are SHEETS OF GOLD. 

While I recover from that astonishing fact, let's take a trip to the kid's bathroom – which will no doubt be much less opulent. Because it's a kid's bathroom, right?

This is the Willy Wonker of bathrooms and I want a golden ticket. Image: Vogue Living Australia.

WRONG.

It has pink, orange, green and yellow custom-stained tiles with a pink marble vanity and pastel pink taps. This is the sort of bathroom I'd expect at a swanky London restaurant – not one where the main topic of conversation is an interrogation about whether or not a five-year-old has brushed their teeth. 

We're weirdly going to end the tour in the living room. The heart of the home. Where the family gathers to hang out together. 

It's a room with a roaring fire, that they lovingly call 'the pizza oven', probably because it looks like a pizza oven. There are mismatched "nana" couches, velvet cushions and pottery coffee stands. 

Image: Vogue Living Australia.

 But, wait. 

What's that? 

Over there in the corner?

YES. THAT CHAIR DOING A DANCE. 

Excuse me sir, are you starting a flash mob? Image: Vogue Living Australia.

Zoë seems unperturbed by the wicker (chair) man boogying in her living room, even though it's doing a dance right there. 

While she actively ignores the chair for far too long for me to remain comfortable, she does eventually acknowledge the chaos happening beside her and... wait... gives it a high five. 

Yes. With one palm-to-palm slap, Zoë has confirmed to me that this chair is a living, breathing being. I was already pretty sure of this fact, thanks to the fact the chair has an actual arse crack. 

 

I will never unsee this. Image: Vogue Living Australia.

While I will be forever haunted by this chair crack, I feel privileged to have gotten a snoop around the Foster Blake residence. It is one of the most unique spots I've seen in a while and it makes me want to ceremoniously torch all of my worldly belongings and start again with a completely pink colour palette. 

To see all of the pictures featured in the Vogue Living Australia exclusive as well as their video interview, head to their website here. 

Image: Vogue Living Australia.